Dear colleagues, it is my pleasure to announce that the following paper has been accepted at TUG 2024, to be held in Prague, this July. A Large Scale Format Compliance Checker for TeX Font Metrics As part of ETAP, our experimental typesetting algorithms platform, we have developed a parser for TeX Font Metrics files. The parser not only provides a rich ontology of errors, but also a powerful recovery mechanism, made possible by the underlying programming language's unique exception handling paradigm. Because the library reifies exceptions as first class citizens in the language, and in an object-oriented fashion, it is possible to compile "(non)compliance reports" for fonts by going as far as possible in the parsing, even in problematic case. We have applied this to the current TeXlive distribution, inspecting almost 80,000 fonts, and discovering near 700 fonts with non-compliance problems. The result of this work has just been officially integrated into the TeXlive distribution. See: https://texlive.info/tfm-validate/ -- Resistance is futile. You will be jazzimilated. Lisp, Jazz, Aïkido: http://www.didierverna.info